duh...

some people just ask such painfully stupid questions

for example:

what are you going to do with that pen?
hm.. let's see, i feel like testing my rectal temperature with it

are you going to pay for that?
no, i'm going to steal it. i just brought it to the counter so you could watch me run away with the stuff

julie! what did you do to the bed?
um. I slept in it

you fell down?
no, I'm just wiping the floor with my sorry butt

are you alrgiht?
I think so. Could you just help me pick up my arm? I'm a bit shorthanded.

can you hear me?
no.

did you get back safely?
well, not really. i'm talkign to you from the kidnapper's handphone and i have a gun to my head.

where have you been?
with myself

though of course, there's one REALLY stupid question that people ask me on a regular basis

do you like guides?
Oh my Got! Of course lah! I love guides. It's soooo fun, and everyone is so nice.

religion...unknown

ICs are just painfully stupid parts of the bureaucracy. Why don't you just be smart like America (one of the rare times) and combine IC and driver's license? Know why? Unlike Bush country, we are too paranoid to let sixteen year olds drive. Whose fault is that?

And just a week ago, I received that blue form to apply for my IC. When I got it, I thought the ISD had finally come to get me, but then, I'm paranoid too. So there's this whole bunch of stuff about me, then my dialect, Hokkien. I don't even speak Hokkien, my grandparents don't. Same as Chinese. In my family, no one for three generations has spoken Chinese. Mother tongue my foot. And then, under religion, there is unknown. Utterly stupid. It seems that the government, being unable to classify and label me, has decided that I am an interesting and slightly illegal specimen. Either that, or I belong to an unknown cult whose prophet is a gibbering orang utan in the Amazon. If there were orang utans in the Amazon.

Maybe, when I turn fifteen, I will declare to the world that I am actually and alien from Betelguese and I have three antennae and beep.

revising

I can't believe this. The exams are three weeks away and I'm so behind in maths and science. I wish I could skip that bloody parent child day thing. More time to revise. Great. Can things get any better?

My brother's having his prelims next week and the atmosphere here isn't exactly relaxed. Last night, I heard him shouting maths formulas in his sleep. It would be funy, if it weren't so tragic. Whatever happened to the "just do your best" thing? What has this sorry world done to itself?

Quite alot

And worse news is that we HAVE to have five day weeks as of next year. Wowee. HOw am I going to fit both my stupid CCAs?

Musings 2

Secrets have always been interesting things. Stuff in general. When your're a kid, a great secret would be the chocolate you stuffed in a box somewhere, then left to rot, or that you punched your sister on the nose and didn't want anyone to find out. Small secrets.

Then there are the big ones. Things that you don't want people to know, and hope they never find out. Everyone has at least one big secret, but you can always tell. There's this feeling you get in your gut when something hits you as being not quite right, but you've nothing else to go on but the feeling. Stupid, nosy people look for proof. But secrets are best left alone. When you find out what they are, when they're not meant for you, it's not fun. The truth hurts.

Take for example, my brother. I only recently discovered that she's not really a he at all. (bit obvious really). She got expelled from school. You can't expect her to go to a boy's school right?

school holidays my left buttock

This is not a school holiday. I have to go to school 5 out of the 7 days this week, which is just one day less than normal. This really, really, sucks. All my fault really. Why did I have to go and call all those people? Especially since they have no brains whatsoever and irritate me to high heaven. Sigh.

oh yeah.

I'm making a statement that I'm absolutely against the 5 day week. Only more stress and later days.

Musings

This subject is really old, and everyone who knows me probably has heard me railing about this one gajillion times already, but heck. I have realised some really interesting and banal things

Firstly, why is it that when parents yell at you, they always end their sentences with "DO YOU HEAR ME?" What sort of moronic question is that? I mean, hello, you're already at the volume of a rock concert, but no, I'm deaf, so I can't possibly hear something that sounds like a Boeing 747 flying past my ear. And then, there's the thing where I can't be angry or depressed. I'm supposed to be a effing smiling manequin, even when my effing parents (hey, if they weren't effing, I wouldn't be here) accuse me of something I didn't do and yell and punish me for it. You try and see how it feels to have anger build up inside you and you can't let it out. I telly you, I'm going to have a heart attack before I'm 15.

So here are the more mild, interesting stuff I realised. My grandfather's name is Joseph. My grandmother's name was Mary. Also, if all of Singapore's politicians came together and started talking, the ground would sprout with the Earth's most beautiful flowers

Girl Guides

I have realised, that my blog is horribly uncouth. I swear alot, and when I'm not doing that, I write rude poems. So this is going to be a scientific study. The species that I am going to examine are guides.

These sub0species has always provided the greatest fascination for me. The thing that shocks me the mose about them is exactly how stupid they are. You may think that you've met the stupidest people in your life, butr until you meet a guide, you just don't know how lucky you are. THey wear their hair in odious little layered bobs that look like pineapples, and their bags hang down at their butts. So there you have it

Guides do not generally have a very good command og English. Neither do they have a good command of the real world. When they jay-walk, they scream, when they run, they scream, when they read, they scream, when they are sleeping, I bet they scream.

When encountering a guide. The best thing to do is put earplugs in your ears and a stupid expression on your face. trying to avoid them only makes them chase after you.

ARGH!!!

MY STUPID PARENTS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS! EVEN A FUCKING ALMOND CAN'T BE MORE NUTS THAN ME! I NEVER EVER WANT TO END UP LIKR THEM, THE HYPOCRITICAL SHAMELESS HEARTLESS CRUEL CONIVING SOULESS LUMPEN BITS OF FERMENTED COW PAT! WHAT THE HELL. IF THERE WAS ANY BIGGER FONT, I WOULD USE IT!