no control

I think that the most depressing thing about this week was that it finally sank into my head that I have no control over anything whatsoever. Besides the usual complaints on the parental front, I am confronting the fact that I am absolutely socially retarded. I'm the kind of person who if you ask "What are you doing at the party?" I would say "I carried a watermelon." This kind of thing has happened lots of times before, which jsut goes to show how pathetic I am.

Some people are naturally good at navigating the social jungle. Everything they say or do is right. With me, I inadvertently end up saying to most insulting things. It's a good thing that I still have some friends who know I don't mean them the way they came out. Otherwise, I would be a very sad person indeed. The girl guides are still being all bitchy. Can't blame them. Find it very amusign though.

bottom rung

I am very tired...so tired my bones ache and other things besides. I am so very tired of a lot of things. I'm tired of all the stress that's coming, and going to come. I'm tired of trying to be all cheerful every single minute of my life. I'm tired of having to worry about what other people think of me. I'm sick of being on the end of everyone's lsit of priorities. You would think that even family would at least put you at the top of the list, but no... same as everyone else....

and i'm so tired i want to sleep and sleep and never wake up. Of course, I might not want that later on, but being asleep, no one's to know, not even me.

as bad as murder

I wonder if anyone has noticed anything strange about that Huang Na murder trial. That accused guy pleaded not guilty, yet he's showing the police all kinds of weird things, like how he killed her and dumped the body. How on earth can he be forced to do that? And if he really did that of his own volition, why plead not guilty? This proves that this trial is only a show trial, and the verdict is a foregone conclusion.

What's more, in the US, there is a right to remain silent. In Singapore courts, if you remain silent, it's taken as an admission of guilt. Where is hte urle by law? How is the system protectin the people? What the stupid fools in the government and judiciary don't realise is that htey may convict the person efficiently, but it may be a false one. Then, society is no safer, because an innocent man is behind bars, and the guilty muderer is still running around. In Singapore, it's guilty until proven innocent when it should be the other way around. What the Hell? We're surely not getting any safer...and violating hte human rights of all our citizens in hte process. The PAP should be ashamed of themselves.

i guess not

The thing that can make you feel the worst in the world is gerbil fucking people who would do anything to go near a floozy who gives away her services for free. ANother thing that can make you feel utterly depressed and furious is you being unable to friggin let go of anything, much to your own detriment

julie strikes back

1. Thank you supporters.

2. Sorry to these people. You were not the ones I meant to insult. If your name is not on this list, then i DID mean to insult you.

a.marina
b.sophia
c.felicia
d.meihui.
e.melissa
f. joanne
g. xiurru
h. yeah, that's it.


3. Hello... I think you people should really be careful. I mean, with all the eye-rolling you did, I think your eyes might permanently be stuck that way. You'd better be extra careful if you can't afford major surgery, since you are going to spend the rest of your life looking into the inside of your head. (god knows that's hardly the most interesting place to be looking at for seventy odd years)

4. Being in a triple science class doesn't mean you're smart. Look at the frigging L1R5s. Geez.

5. I am not going to commenton anything i said. Ask my friends for that. I have a lot.

renegade

10 commandments of being in dunman high

1. Thou shalt not use grandiloquent vocabulary because the inevitable proletariat doth abhors the abtruse nature of any speech.

2. Thou shouldst select an activity thou shalt not despise. Otherwise depising others shalt be done upon you.

3. Thou shalt not speak of anything that thou knowest nothing of.

4.Thou shalt not covet thy enemy's possesions, whether material, or divine gift.

5. Thou shalt refrain from libellous and slanderous suits that doth taint thy neighbour's name.

6. Thou hath no need to kill people that doth not think like thou ( or doth think, UNLIKE thee)

7. Thou needst not concern thyself with drivel that doth not make a picometre of sense

8. Thou shalt let thy neighbours hold their own opinions and rant as they will. Leave those souls alone, and they shalt leave thee alone as well.

9. Thou shalt not do anything other than what is approved. Otherwise, people shall see thee as a turgid individual.

10. THOU SHALT LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE FOR THE GREAT LORD'S MOTHER'S SAKE

always pours

Brilliant things always happen in one lump. So, in the span of five minutes, my sunday afternoon plans are Gone with the Wind (Why does everyone hate Scarlett so much? I think she was smart, just that no one else thought that about her) and my mother started screaming at me for nothing. So. Let me do what i do best. Ranting.

I don't know what some people's fucking problems are. They don't even know they have fucking problems. They don't know that THEY are the problem. I mean, fucking hell. What the fuck am I supposed to do? One of their fucking problems is they never listen anway. Every fucking thing is more fucking important, isn't it. Well no, just one fucking thing. Well what the fuck. if they don't look out, there won't be anybody to fuck around with anymore...then they'll be fucking sorry. But you know, I'm fucking worthless anyway, so how the fuck would i know right? I mean, you only ever use fucking julie for your own ends right? Once you achieve it, or it doesn't work the way you planned, then what the fuck right? I'm always fucking used. You're just a fucker that's all

the end of hell

This is a very solemn moment for me. It is the first time that I am writing as a free human being. After 3 and a half years of hell, I have emerged triumphant and will never make such a mind-numbingly stupid mistake again. That goes for my other mind-numbingly stupid mistakes.

I survived it! It seemed like a complete eternity, but i survived it! Yeah!

But all the other girl guides were blubbing like whales. You'd think that they'd never see each other again, when they were practically in the same class anyway.