out of control

One unalterable fact of life is that people like to be in control

The other unalterable fact is that they never are, not even of themselves.

Take me, for example. I like having things right under my thumb. But then you learn that there are so many things you can't rein in, especially with yourself. This makes you pissed beyond all reason. Weird, isn't it? Being pised with yourself is the worst kind of annoyance, because it's not like you can take a sledgehammer and whack yourself over the head. This, in turn, makes you even more angry, so it's a never ending cycle of hopelessness.

Yeah, not being in control makes me feel quite hopeless as well.