inadequecies

And so you wake up one morning and you realise just how much you really suck. After all, there is nothing you can do that anyone can't do better. You look at your grades and you go bleah. You look at your CCA and you go bleah. You look at your physical capabilities and you wanna have a heart attack. There is absolutely no way that you can escape who you really are.

It's a pity that everyone seems to be better than you. Hope of anything otherwise is merely self-delusion. I think that hopeful people are just deluding themselves to survive, because they are hoping that things will start to look up. What they don't realise is that if they bothered to see the truth, they would end up stewing themselves in a pot. I reckon that for every person you see who is worse off than you, there are ten other people who are better. So why feel grateful for what you have?ecause the people below you will feel cheated if you don't. Actually, I think they'd feel cheated anyway.

That is besides the point. My point is that no matter how you try to excel at something, someone always beats you at it. So why bother? I think the reason why people bother is so that they won't end up at the very bottom. But when someone races ahead of you, you still feel like scum, even though you just may be second place. What doesn't help is the crowd around you. They always insult you, consciously, or unconsciously. I've been guilty of the conscious kind a lot (no duh). But somehow, when people insult you unknowingly, ti seems far worse, because they continue on blithely without thinking that they might have said something wrong. If you insult someone intentionally, you know what you've said is wrong, and feel contrite (depending on who the person is). Otherwise, you'd just go on nattering without ever getting the hint that you;ve hurt someone.

I have forgotten what my point is again. I remember now. I don't want CCA to start up again.