how to morbidly frighten yourself in perfectly normal situations
1. While going up the escalator, lean back just a tiny bit. Imagine yourself falling completely backwards and hitting your head on one of those sharp corners.
2. At the stationery store, go to the place where they put out all those pencils and imagine one of those pencils putting your eye out.
3. At chem lab, think about one of those extra concentrated bottles of HCl smashing on your head, while simultaneously putting a finger right through that little hole in the Bunsen burner.
4. When doing your filing, think about how it would fell if you hole-punched your tongue.
5. Grate your tongue against one of those graters and add salt and lemon juice.
6. Imagine putting your head in the microwave oven then have your brain pop like pop corn. Or your skull could explode.
7. Imagine being killed by a falling crapsicle from an aeroplane.
8. Putting your face into the barbecue grill. And have those criss-cross marks.
9. Use a fruit peeler on your face.
10. What would it feel like to drink a whole bottle of bleach?
2. At the stationery store, go to the place where they put out all those pencils and imagine one of those pencils putting your eye out.
3. At chem lab, think about one of those extra concentrated bottles of HCl smashing on your head, while simultaneously putting a finger right through that little hole in the Bunsen burner.
4. When doing your filing, think about how it would fell if you hole-punched your tongue.
5. Grate your tongue against one of those graters and add salt and lemon juice.
6. Imagine putting your head in the microwave oven then have your brain pop like pop corn. Or your skull could explode.
7. Imagine being killed by a falling crapsicle from an aeroplane.
8. Putting your face into the barbecue grill. And have those criss-cross marks.
9. Use a fruit peeler on your face.
10. What would it feel like to drink a whole bottle of bleach?
posted by Julie at 4:49 AM
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